I never wanted this to be a part of my story...

On October 23, 2025 I had my yearly routine mammogram. I didn't think much of it. I have been doing these since before I was 40. I had my first (benign) lump at 19 with a subsequent lumpectomy. I have had plenty of issues since then, including more than one biopsy.

For some reason, I knew this mammogram was different. The lady doing my mammogram first took pictures of my right side, and then the left. Very normal and very routine. However, after finishing the pictures on the left side, she told me she was going to take more pictures of the right side. She said something showed up the year before, and they needed to compare this year's pictures with last year's.

At first, this didn't set off any alarms. This wasn't the first time I was told they wanted to take more pictures. Like I mentioned, I had multiple biopsies done in the past. This had almost become my norm. I can't recall how soon afterwards I got the call, but it wasn't long before I got the call from the hospital saying they wanted me to have a diagnostic mammogram. At this point, I was starting to become a little concerned. I was 50, so they could no longer use the line that I was too young for it to be cancer.

One week later, I had the diagnostic mammogram. Body language says so much. I knew by the look on the nurse's face that things didn't look like they should. She made up some excuse on why I needed to sit in the very tiny room where you change, until she could have the doctor check the images. There is no doubt in my mind, that she knew what she saw. There needs to be a better way to handle this part of the process. I sat in this tiny room, by myself, waiting for what seemed like hours, to hear what the radiologist had to say. When the nurse returned with the doctor in tow, I knew it couldn't be good.

The radiologist explained to me that what they saw were "calcifications". He told me that they were on my mammogram the year before, but there were more this year, so it was important that I have a biopsy to make sure everything was okay. I was told lots of women had them, and they can be caused by scar tissue from previous surgeries and even age. He went so far as to tell me that there was an 85% chance that it was not cancer. By now, we all know where this is going.

I received my diagnosis on Friday, November 14, 2025. I am not sure I can explain in words what it feels like to hear that you have cancer. I literally didn't know how to feel or what to do. All I could think about was my best friend who passed away from breast cancer in 2019, at the age of 39. That was my closest experience with someone who had breast cancer, so that was all I had to relate to. ChatGPT quickly became my best friend. Say what you want about these types of programs, but it was what got me through the weekend.

Yes, I got my results through MyChart, so I was on my own. I started making as many phone calls as I could to get the ball rolling. I had no idea what my next step was supposed to be, but one way or another, I was going to find out, ASAP. If you know me, you know my determination! One of my first calls was to my family nurse practitioner. Everyone should have someone like her on their medical team, and in their life. She is smart, kind, responsive, and if she doesn't know something, it won't take her long to find the answers. She started by reading from her "medical ChatGPT" about what exactly it meant to have DCIS breast cancer (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ). Here is my plug for ChatGPT - what she read to me was almost verbatim what I had already read on ChatGPT.

By this point, it was after 3:00 on a Friday afternoon. She walked me through what the next steps would be and then personally called the Slidell Cancer Center to let them know my case would be coming through. She called me back to let me know she had spoken directly to the cancer team coordinator. The coordinator told her they had my case, and they would give me a call on Monday. I am so thankful for the cancer team coordinator at Slidell's Cancer Center. She didn't wait until Monday. She called me that afternoon and gave me an appointment for Monday. Those two people, at that very moment, did more for me than they will ever know.

I literally spent hours every day from Friday to Monday, asking ChatGPT any question I could possibly think of. If you have used this program before, it will actually ask you questions, and it will ask you if you want it to look into certain things. You would be surprised how much information I was able to gather before the meeting with my "cancer team" the following Monday. By the time I had that appointment at 2:00, I knew exactly what my choices were, and which one I would more than likely go with. I just needed the actual medical professionals to confirm what I had been reading.

The breast surgeon came in first. Dr. Gelvin was absolutely amazing. She was kind and caring and never treated me like just another case. She had a decision tree that she used to show me my two options - mastectomy with no further treatment or lumpectomy with radiation and a hormone-suppressing drug for the next 5 years. My feelings about these two decisions...BOTH SUCK!!! Should you ever find yourself in this position, you will need to decide which decision sucks less. Making that decision is not the easiest. For me, I did not want the radiation or the hormone-suppressing drug (if you have gone through perimenopause or menopause, you can understand why I didn't want them to suppress the little bit of hormones I had left.)

Today is BRA Day (Breast Reconstruction Awareness Day). The next year of my story is comprised of multiple surgeries for my breast reconstruction. I had a mastectomy on December 23, 2025, with tissue expanders placed at the time of surgery (6 hours). Those tissue expanders failed, so I had to have them replaced and start over in May of 2026 (5 1/2 hours). In August, I finally got the tissue expanders out and implants put in (3 hours). This isn't the end of my reconstruction, but for now, things are much more comfortable.

This is a story I have wanted to tell for a long time. I have written about certain parts of my story on my personal FB page, but I could never write out the whole story. I won't lie. It isn't an easy story to tell. Until you live through something like this, you really can't fully understand. So many people told me they wouldn't think twice. They said they would make the same decision. The truth is, that decision is much easier to make when you aren't the one facing it. The thought of having to remove parts of your body is not something you can truly understand unless you have lived through it.

We all know October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I felt like this was the perfect time to tell my story. There are so many branches to this story, but those will come in time.

So why today, and what does this have to do with counseling? I have repeatedly told Dale (my husband) that I never wanted this to be part of my story. I am sure many would say, "Of course you didn't want this to happen." For me, this statement means so much more than the obvious. There are feelings and emotions that are behind this statement that I never knew I would experience. There is both support and loneliness. So many people did so much for me. A few of my clients brought me food, and many sent me texts, prayers, and well wishes. One client even brought me a handmade mastectomy pillow that her neighbor made. I used that pillow after every surgery. There is also a sense of loneliness at times. This isn't something that just goes away with surgery. The mental struggles are real, and they linger on. There are days when I just want to cry because I never wanted this to be a part of my story. However, you feel like everyone around you believes you are "okay", because the cancer is gone. If the cancer is gone, there shouldn't be anything to cry about anymore.

Even though I knew in my heart what I meant by "I never wanted this to be a part of my story," I didn't think anyone else could really understand what I was feeling. That was until recently when I had a session with a client who is going through a divorce. She has been going through the process for some time now, but she still has her moments when she gets very upset and doesn't know how to move forward emotionally. That conversation is when the lightbulb went off. Although she knows moving forward with the divorce is the right way to go, she never wanted this to be a part of her story!

Her story was supposed to be a happy marriage, with children and a white picket fence. Instead, she now faces a divorce and a move from her family home. Her visions of raising grandbabies with her husband and going on extended family vacations are no longer within reach. This wasn't supposed to be a part of her story!

We all experience a chapter in our lives that we didn't want to be a part of our story. Sometimes that chapter is short, and other times it may feel like it is an eternity. As counselors, this is what we are here for. We are here to help you get through the chapters in your life that you never wanted to be a part of your story.

We, as counselors, provide a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental space where individuals, couples, and families can openly explore their thoughts, feelings, and challenges. We help people gain insight, develop healthier coping skills, navigate life's difficulties, and make meaningful changes. For children, counseling provides an age-appropriate way to express emotions, build confidence, develop social skills, and work through challenges they may not yet have the words to explain. For couples, we help improve communication, resolve conflict, and rebuild trust. Our goal isn't to tell people how to live their lives, but to empower them with the tools, confidence, and understanding to move forward in healthier, more fulfilling ways.

If you feel stuck in a chapter that you never wanted to be a part of your story, please reach out. We have multiple counselors in our office who can help you keep moving through the story you always dreamed about!

You may not have chosen this chapter of your story, but you don't have to navigate it alone. And just because this chapter isn't what you imagined, it doesn't mean the rest of your story can't still be beautiful.