Why We Love the Way We Do: Understanding Attachment Styles

Hi! My name is Mya Walgamotte, and I am a counselor intern who is passionate about helping people better understand themselves and their relationships. I enjoy exploring topics related to emotions, communication, attachment, and personal growth. One thing I've learned is that many relationship struggles aren't random—they're often connected to how we learned to feel safe, loved, and connected growing up.

This is where attachment styles come in!

Attachment styles are patterns of connection that develop early in life and continue to influence how we relate to others. They can affect romantic relationships, friendships, family relationships, and even the relationship we have with ourselves.

There are four primary attachment styles:

• Secure – comfortable with closeness, trust, and open communication.

• Anxious – seeks reassurance, fears abandonment, and may overthink relationships.

• Avoidant – values independence and may struggle with vulnerability or emotional conversations.

• Disorganized – desires connection but fears it, often experiencing mixed emotions and difficulty trusting others.

These patterns often show up in everyday life. You may notice a friend becoming distant during conflict, someone fearing they're "too much" for others, or a loved one shutting down when emotions become intense. Many people also experience the anxious-avoidant cycle, where one person seeks closeness while the other pulls away.

The good news is that attachment styles are not permanent. With self-awareness, growth, and support, people can develop healthier ways of connecting with themselves and others.

Understanding our attachment patterns can help us build stronger, safer, and more fulfilling relationships.

As I continue working toward completing the clinical hours required for my counseling internship, I am currently accepting new clients ages 4 to 94. If you, your child, or a loved one could benefit from counseling, I would love the opportunity to work with you. To schedule an appointment, please call 985-640-0773 or email me at Mya@familytiescounseling.com. I look forward to meeting you and being a part of your journey toward growth and healing.